The loss of a child

I am sure that many parents who have lost a child feel as I do that no one can help because no one can possibly understand the pain of their tragedy. The sadness, the exhaustion, the disruption to home life, the panic, the horror of laughter and the endless feeling of sorrow and despair.

Although the journey through pain has only just begun for me (4 months on the 14th November) I share your bereavement, I know this pain we feel cannot be erased, but I feel and hope that by sharing with others we can find a unity in our grief and console each other, for no one else understands best where we are coming from and where we are heading than another grieving parent.

My story begins.....
I was returning home from an overseas trip to Fiji, where I had been holidaying for 10 days with my partner of 6 and a half years. We had collected my daughter from her dads and proceeded home. I was excited about getting home, although I had left the boys before and knew they we in capable hands I had missed all of my children and looked forward to resuming our normal routine.

I had rang my eldest son Brendon at 3;30 pm from Sydney to say we were on our way home, my other son Mat had not returned the message I left him, as I later found out he was at the movies with his girlfriend.

we arrived home at 4:30 pm on the Thursday, and by 5:50 pm the police were knocking on my door, I was home alone as my partner had taken my daughter to soccer and I was to do a few things at home so we could all sit and discuss what we had all done during the holidays.

Little did I know that that day would be the end of two beautiful lives, my life as I knew it and the beginning of a very sad and hard road for the rest of our lives.

The above picture is of my son Mathew which was taken around the time of his 16th birthday