Mothers Day

Well, Mothers day is fast approaching, not only is it Mothers Day but the 14th of May also marks the 10th month since the passing of my son's, 10 months I feel like I have only blinked once since the accident, somedays I think I really just walk around in my own world, so silent yet so noisy with the sounds of grief in my head and heart.... Only one who has experienced such pain knows the constant buzzing in your head the voices you hear and words that you say to yourself every minute of every day, time has really only stopped the feeling of shock, that disbelief that we all had the day and following days and weeks after the accident, it is a true reality now, and slowly we are starting to find new routines, new school routines, new breakfast routines. Something will never be easy to do again, we hardly ever sit at the table together for a meal, I hate that reminder of 3 in the family, the special Sunday dinner that we all shared in preparation for another busy week, so many things will never be the same.

I will never be the same, I have just taken leave from TAFE and feel I may never return, my heart is just not in it, most days if I could just sit in a corner quietly and contemplate life I would be happy.... Thank goodness I have my daughter, she gives me purpose.

What advice can I give to other grieving parents who are about to experience their first mothers day without their children?? None really, other than plan ahead, think about what you want to do for the day, I already mentioned to my daughter weeks ago what she could do, I really do not want to think of it and if it can be taken care of early then all the better... I asked her to cook me a nice meal, maybe make some desert and a hand made card.....

Its ironic how your perspective about such days can change when such an event has occurred, I used to be all for the presents, hassling my sons to buy me something because I'm the mum, but in reality, and I have said this before, the presents were already in front of me, I just didn't see.

So happy mothers day to you mum's, treasure the day and really think about what it means, how lucky we are to have the privilege of having children and raising them to be fine young people...

"Why shall children be grateful for having mothers if in reality the mothers are receiving infinite treasures of love from their children ??"